Limiting Beliefs, Perfectionism, and the “Someday” Trap: Why Waiting for the Perfect Moment Keeps You Stuck

Last Updated on October 3, 2025 by Jess Brown

If I had a dollar for every time I said “someday”—you know, that magical place where my life finally comes together, the house is sparkling, I’m living in my dream body, and I’m suddenly brimming with motivation—I’d probably have enough money to fund all those dreams I keep putting off. The promise of “someday” is sneaky. It feels responsible, almost noble: I won’t start until the time is right, the house is quiet, I know exactly what I’m doing. Spoiler: that “someday” never actually lands. It just hides out in the corner, whispering that you aren’t ready yet and keeping you hustling in circles.

Here’s what I’ve noticed: waiting for the perfect moment isn’t smart planning, it’s a limiting belief dressed up as maturity. I fell for it for years. I told myself that real change would start after the next busy season, when I’d finally stop feeling overwhelmed, or when I magically felt “ready.” And wow, did that cost me—the regret, the burnout, the quiet moments of wondering what the hell was wrong with me when I’d see people find success in a fraction of the time I’d been struggling. If you’ve been gripping onto “someday,” you’re in good company, but you’re also telling yourself stories that keep you stuck. The truth? Perfectionism is just another way our limiting beliefs protect us from discomfort… and from growth.

Let’s be honest: letting go of waiting opened the door to fulfillment, flow, and actual manifestation in my life—not because circumstances finally lined up, but because I finally stopped playing by the rules of “someday.” If you’re tired of the waiting room, I’ll show you how to start where you are, imperfect and uncertain, so you can finally feel the momentum you crave (no deep spiritual overhaul required).

Why ‘Someday’ Is a Lie: The Cost of Perfection Paralysis

Here’s what ‘someday’ actually cost me, even before I realized what was happening It wasn’t just about missing out on big dreams or life-changing moves. It was the small, relentless drip of moments lost to waiting—waiting until the house felt peaceful, until my schedule magically cleared, until I suddenly had answers. Spoiler: none of those “ideal” conditions actually showed up. What did show up? The emotional hangover of regret, the slow leak of self-trust, and a mounting pile of excuses in my own brain. If you’re feeling stuck on pause, convinced you need to be “ready” first, this next section is for you.

The Hidden Costs of Waiting

Photo by Alexas Fotos

Nobody teaches us the price of “someday” until a few too many years have gone by. I spent ages assuming waiting was the wise move, only to realize my emotional energy got sucked up by:

• Missed windows: That fresh spark of motivation never stuck around. I’d plan, dream, even lay out my new planner—and then that bright flash would fizzle out the minute I postponed action.
• Growing self-doubt: Every time I pushed a dream to “later,” I chipped away at my belief that I could actually keep promises to myself. It’s wild how fast self-trust leaks out when you keep breaking appointments with your own life.
• Lost momentum: The lie of “not now” kills energy faster than a leaky faucet. The longer I waited, the heavier and more impossible starting felt. You know that guilty, anxious pit in your stomach? That’s what happens when your soul keeps hearing “not yet… maybe later” on repeat.
• Reinforcing limiting beliefs: Every time I decided to stop and wait, my nervous system got the message: “You’re probably not ready. You don’t have what it takes yet. Let’s not risk failing.” The longer I stalled, the deeper those limiting beliefs grew roots and the more my self-confidence tanked.

It’s not just in our heads. Prolonged waiting chips away at our happiness, ramps up stress, and creates a low-level hum of regret (full scoop here). The belief that someday you’ll magically be ready isn’t harmless. It’s a thief. It steals weeks and years, turning bold dreams into theoretical “maybes” and hollow wishes.

If you want a kick-in-the-pants reality check, the hard truth is: the “perfect” moment doesn’t exist. chasing it only grows anxiety and keeps you stuck (read this straight talk).

Tired of your own excuses? This playful tool shuts them down (with love)

Perfectionism and Limiting Beliefs

Perfectionism feels almost noble on the surface, like you’re playing it smart by “waiting until the conditions are right.” Underneath? It’s a whole system built on the quicksand of limiting beliefs—especially that old “I’m not good enough” or “I have to have everything together before I can begin” soundtrack.

What actually happens?

• Energetic gridlock: You stall, spiral, and end up using all your energy on overthinking instead of even trying. When your energy gets tied up in “getting ready to get ready,” there’s nothing left for actual action.
• Permission to stay small: Perfectionism offers a weird comfort. If you never start, you never risk failing. But you also guarantee you never win.
• Reinforced self-doubt: Each time you pick “wait” over “try,” you add another brick to the wall of “I can’t.” It feels safer, but in reality, it’s a slow drift into self-fulfilling stagnation.
• Missed opportunities for growth: All the best lessons come from getting messy, not from getting perfect. When I look back at real progress, it started with doing things badly—then learning and adapting as I went.

Trying to make everything flawless before you even show up is a recipe for burnout and regret (helpful explainer). Perfection paralysis is sneaky: it can disguise itself as “high standards,” but in daily life it looks like never feeling ready, picking over tiny details that don’t matter, or talking yourself out of trying altogether (more on this here).

The stories we tell ourselves—that we must be flawless before starting, that making mistakes means we’re broken—aren’t just annoying. They’re the root of why manifestation doesn’t work, why growth feels so hard, and why we keep searching for answers outside ourselves. When you challenge perfectionism and welcome “good enough,” you shift from “waiting” energy into “creating” energy. And that single shift is where actual momentum is born.

Journal prompt: What’s a dream or goal you keep bumping on “not ready yet”? What would “good enough for now” look like if you stopped waiting for perfect?

How Limiting Beliefs Keep Us Stuck in ‘Supposed To’ Living

If I’m honest, most days where I feel stuck aren’t because my life is actually a disaster. They’re the days where I’m running on autopilot—grinding through my lists, feeling like I “should” be grateful or that I “should” want the life I already have. But deep down, there’s always that tiny (sometimes very loud) voice whispering, “Isn’t there more than this?” That’s when I know I’ve hit the wall of limiting beliefs—stories that keep me trapped inside the box of “supposed to” living. If you’ve ever wondered why actual change seems impossible no matter how hard you push, you’re not alone. Let’s get real about the sneaky scripts that keep us circling the same old frustrations, and why “flow” feels so out of reach.

Recognizing the Voice of Limiting Beliefs: Identify Common Internal Scripts That Keep People Stuck

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich

For years, my mind was basically a broken record repeating things like, “Who am I to want more?” or “If I’m not hustling, I’m failing.” I thought these were just honest reflections on my effort or character. Turns out, they were classic limiting beliefs, the invisible rules that kept me hustling for a life that never quite fit.

Let’s shine a light on some of the most common scripts I run into (and sometimes still catch myself listening to):

• “Who am I to want more?”
  
  If you’ve ever felt guilty for being restless in your “good” life, this belief loves to grab the steering wheel. It whispers that asking for more is greedy or selfish, keeping dreams permanently on the back shelf.
• “I should just be grateful and work harder.”
  
  Translation: Burn yourself out trying to prove you deserve what you have, then beat yourself up for still feeling empty.
• “If I’m not hustling, I’m failing.”
  
  This belief is like caffeine for self-judgment. Even on vacation or during a slow dinner, you feel a little twitchy and behind.
• “I can’t afford to take risks with my stability.”
  
  Sensible on the surface, but it morphs into a life built around fear instead of possibility.

These limiting beliefs are like background apps on your phone, draining your battery while you wonder why nothing ever feels easy or free. And what happens when we buy into these stories? Frustration grows, but so does that gentle longing for something real and authentic—a life where you move forward because it feels true, not because you’re scared to disappoint someone’s invisible scoreboard.

If you want to break the habit of running on “supposed to” energy, you have to catch yourself in the act. This article breaks down more hidden limiting beliefs that keep us stuck and offers practical tips for untangling them.

Here’s what I’ve found helps:

1. Start noticing the story behind your discomfort when you want more—even if it makes no sense.
2. Write down the scripts that pop up the most for you (hint: your “shoulds” and “can’ts” are pure gold here).
3. Gently question where those beliefs even started. Are they yours, or did you inherit them from work, family, or culture?

Journal Prompt:
What’s one “supposed to” belief you hear in your head almost daily? What would happen if you called its bluff today?

The Energy Imbalance: Masculine Striving vs. Feminine Flow

The “hustle harder” Kool-Aid is everywhere—productivity planners, LinkedIn rants, even well-meaning self-help books. So many of us (me included) glide straight into masculine striving energy. It’s all push, force, and measuring our worth in checklists. After a while, that grind takes a real toll: body tight, sleep off, and some weird resentment toward everyone who seems more relaxed.

It isn’t just stress, either. It’s an actual energy imbalance. My real shift started when I paused long enough to see this:
My “success” days (checklists done, inbox zero) gave me a quick hit of validation, then left me empty. My “flow” days (following joy, trusting timing, letting myself rest) felt almost illegal… and, eventually, a hundred times more productive and peaceful.

Here’s how the imbalance often shows up:

• Physical signs: Always tired, tension in your neck and jaw, headaches or that familiar pit in your stomach you ignore until Sunday night.
• Emotional fallout: Mood swings, short fuse, and zero patience for mistakes—especially your own.
• Energetic drain: You pour effort in but never fill back up. That’s not laziness, it’s running on fumes because you’re never in true alignment with what feels good or real.

When I let myself drop the “striving equals success” story, I found out that joy, creativity, and intuition are not random bonuses—they are signs I’m finally plugging into my own power. I had to give myself permission to stop and ask, “What would flow actually look like for me today?” Not every day is magical, but a lot more of them feel like my real life now.

If you’re curious about what balancing these energies could look like in practice, this post breaks down feminine and masculine energy in daily life and why real relief comes from allowing both.

Try this today:

• Take a break in the middle of something you “should” finish. Notice if guilt or fear show up—meet them with curiosity instead of shame.
• List out activities that light you up versus those that always leave you feeling depleted.
• Intentionally add one small feminine flow moment to your day—rest, creativity, a short walk, or just staring out the window for five minutes.

When you let go of living only by the “supposed to” scripts, you’ll start to notice opportunities for joy and alignment where before you only saw another chore. That relief you feel when you loosen your grip on hustle? That’s not a sign you’re lazy. It’s your wisdom showing you a better way.

How to Stop Waiting: Practicing Presence and Aligned Action

Here’s the messy truth: every single big thing I’ve actually built in my life started with something small, weirdly-timed, and wildly imperfect. You know what never created change? Waiting around for all the stars in my schedule, mood, or self-confidence to line up. If you’ve tried to outsmart “limiting beliefs” and waited for the moment you feel bold, inspired, or totally certain, you already know how exhausting and mind-bendy that strategy is. At some point, I had to call my own bluff—tiny action in the present is not just better than nothing, it’s the thing that actually works. So much of moving from “stuck” to “momentum” comes down to two promises: showing up now (not just someday), and redesigning life so it feels like something I get to do, not just another list of “shoulds.”

Embracing Imperfect Action: Small Steps Make Relentless Progress

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

I used to buy into the story that if something was worth doing, it was worth doing right. But doing things “right” so often meant not doing them at all. Limiting beliefs love to dress up as high standards. Perfectionism? It’s just fear with a better outfit.

Here’s what I’ve actually found works:

• Momentum is built one tiny, sometimes cringey step at a time. My most powerful shifts started with an awkward email, a 5-minute walk instead of an hour-long gym fantasy, or a shaky voice memo.
• Minimum viable progress isn’t about doing less—it’s about making life-proof progress. The version where you show up on your worst day and still chip away at the story that says “not enough.”
• Every single time I act before I “feel ready,” I chip a little hole in that wall of “I can’t.” There are days when that hole feels so small you have to squint to see it. But it’s there, letting in just enough light to see the next move.

Here’s the wild kicker: waiting for “ready” is just a detour into burnout. Action in the present, no matter how rickety, gently proves to my nervous system that I don’t have to be perfect to be safe, accepted, or worthy. And surprise—the world starts responding in fresh ways the moment I make a move, not when I’ve perfected the plan. If you want a real take on why imperfect action matters, check out this first-hand breakdown at Imperfect Action.

Ready for a Monday morning test? Pick the smallest possible next move towards your dream (sending a DM, making a list, putting on sneakers even if you don’t run). Try it without commitment to the outcome. The only goal: prove to yourself that action is safe, and that perfection is not required.

Building a Life That Feels Like ‘I Get To,’ Not ‘I Have To’

There’s something soul-shrinking about a routine stuffed with shoulds. I’ve built whole weeks out of things that looked good on a productivity app but left me feeling empty and robotic. Here’s the raw truth: if your vision board ends up as a list of nagging obligations, manifestation fizzles out and energy follows it out the door.

So, what actually works? I started questioning my routines, asking, “Do I want this or am I just keeping up appearance?” Here’s how I rebuilt things to feel light and fun (while still being productive):

• Micro-shifts in daily habits: I swapped forced meditation marathons for spur-of-the-moment deep breaths with a cup of tea. Zero guilt. Bonus points if you let yourself zone out by the window.
• Making content your playground: Recording a silly, no-pressure video—even if nobody sees it—not only lightens my mood but gives me a rush that rigid “content calendars” never managed. If writing feels heavy, I switch to talking or sketching ideas, or literally moving while I brainstorm.
• Experimenting with new formats: Instead of waiting for a “perfect” topic or my hair to look Insta-ready, I try new things purely for fun. Some of my best reader connections have come from the posts where I just slapped up my messy, honest feelings about something—no fancy graphics or heavy editing, just real thoughts. Those raw moments always get the most genuine responses and emails saying “I felt like you were talking directly to me.”
• Redesigning work for joy: I rebuilt my business strategies to include regular “energy check-ins”—pausing to ask, “Does this still feel good?” and giving myself permission to quit or pivot if the answer is “no.”

Here are a few examples of spinning “I have to” into “I get to”:

• Turn your morning coffee into a tiny ritual: 2 minutes of silence, a song, or even a journal scribble if that’s your vibe.
• Challenge yourself to create one thing just for fun each week—a poem, a doodle, a voice note for a friend—with zero pressure for it to be “useful.”
• Swap the script on your least favorite task with a reward or a playful twist. (I’ve folded laundry while jamming to 90s alternative (oh, the memories), not because it was mature but because it made me laugh.)

Building authentic routines is way less about discipline and way more about asking, “What triggers real joy for me?” If you want a few practical ideas for creating authenticity and joy in your life, check out Five Ways to Increase Your Authentic Joy.

Try this:
Make your next small move today, aiming for progress that feels light. Notice when your routine feels forced—give yourself permission to edit it until it feels like something you actually want to keep.

Your schedule will fill up either way—might as well fill it with things you get to do, not just things you have to survive.

Breaking Free from ‘Someday’: Creating Joy and Success Right Now

Ever notice how “someday” always feels responsible but never actually delivers? I spent years thinking I was being smart by waiting for a better mood, more clarity, or a perfectly clear calendar. Honestly, it never came. I kept postponing fun, joy, and even rest while I hustled to prove I was “ready” for more. In reality, all this waiting only pushed away real fulfillment and kept my limiting beliefs right at the steering wheel.

When I got fed up with seeing life pass by on the hope of a perfect future, I decided to experiment: what happens if I stop waiting and start creating space for what I want, right now—messy, unqualified, and imperfect? The results honestly shocked me. Here’s how you can break the “someday” spell and finally bring fun, fulfillment, and true success into your everyday life (even if your nervous system is screaming this feels risky).

Honoring Your Desires in the Present: Actionable Tips and Mindset Shifts

Let’s talk about honoring those real, sometimes inconvenient desires—the ones you usually put on the back burner while claiming “now’s not the time.” The perfect future is honestly a mirage. If you wait for it, you’ll wait forever. Here are simple ways I actually started making space for what I craved, and why it unlocked more success than stale hustle routines ever did.

How I stopped pushing joy into ‘someday’ land:

• Scheduled non-productive fun: I mean on my actual Google Calendar. This one felt borderline illegal at first, but when I penciled in things I genuinely enjoyed (music, a walk by the river, cold brew in silence), I noticed the rest of my goals got easier. My brain literally worked better after joy breaks.
• Treated small pleasures like sacred appointments: I used to cancel on myself the minute work or chores popped up. When I started honoring even ten minutes with my journal or a favorite show as non-negotiable, my mood and motivation changed.
• Chose ‘enough’ over ‘perfect’: When I stopped needing my self-care to look like a glossy magazine spread, I actually did it. A two-minute dance in the living room lifts my vibe more than “the perfect yoga class” I never get to.
• Let desires teach me about what I truly value: Instead of shaming myself for wanting more rest, beauty, or laughter, I got curious. What were those longings pointing me toward? Often, they highlighted what actually needed care and attention in my life.

The truth is, honoring your desires now is a form of energetic alignment. It tells your nervous system (and, frankly, the universe) that you are worth the effort—today, not some mystical future date. There’s even science behind how present joy fuels productivity, creativity, and resilience.

Here’s a deeper dive into how honoring your current reality and desires is the foundation for real manifestation: Honoring where you are in this moment.

Quick ideas to apply today:

• What’s one thing you’re secretly craving that feels “trivial?” Put it on your schedule this week.
• Let yourself enjoy something small, even if your inner critic pipes up about “wasting time.”
• Notice which present-moment activities light you up—these are your clues for future goals that actually fit your soul, not just your to-do list.

The wild thing is, every single time I prioritized fulfillment in the present—even in tiny ways—I noticed more flow, better problem-solving, and actual opportunities knocking at my door. Manifestation isn’t just about scripting visions; it’s about showing up for your life right now, desire and all.

Rewiring Limiting Beliefs for Lasting Change

If you’re like me, you’ve heard all about “mindset shifts” and rolled your eyes. But here’s what changed everything: manifesting my desires and honoring my needs didn’t really work until I started debugging the hidden, sticky beliefs underneath my daily choices.

Limiting beliefs don’t just hang out in your head, they act like invisible traffic cops—quietly directing you to pause, play small, or hustle for everyone else’s approval. Uncovering and rewiring these beliefs isn’t some pie-in-the-sky process, either. You don’t need a magic crystal or a three-day retreat. You need practical tools, a dash of courage, and (surprise) a little honest self-inquiry.

Tools I actually use to rewire limiting beliefs:

1. Name the voice. I started by writing down pesky thoughts that cropped up around fun, rest, or asking for more (“Who am I to do this?” “Isn’t this selfish?”). Exposing them on paper took away so much of their power.
2. Body check-ins. Sometimes I couldn’t spot a limiting belief with my mind, but my body ratted it out. Clenched jaw? Feeling inexplicably tired? Usually, there was a silent belief on repeat (“You don’t deserve this yet.” “You’ll lose what you have if you ask for more.”).
3. Gentle self-coaching. I ask: “Is this actually true, or just something I picked up from school, Instagram, or well-meaning family panic?” Nine out of ten times, the answer is, “Nope, that was borrowed—ready to give it back.”
4. Reset rituals (energy healing & neuroplasticity). I use short practices like tapping (EFT), meditation, or even a walk outside while repeating a new belief (“My desires matter.” “I can make space for joy and still be responsible.”). These literal pattern interruptions aren’t woo—they help your brain build new neural wiring for more supportive self-talk and bold action.

Want a step-by-step guide on how to rewire limiting beliefs? I found these ideas refreshingly down to earth: How to change your self-limiting beliefs and How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs And Reclaim Your Power.

Try this nano-practice:
Pick one limiting belief running your show lately. Write it down. Then, scribble a “counter-belief” right next to it—even if you don’t believe it yet. Whisper the new one out loud. If it feels uncomfortable, you’ve found a belief worth working on. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

The wild part? Your brain treats repeated thoughts like muscle memory. The more you practice new beliefs (especially with emotion and physical movement), the quicker your nervous system and reality start to sync up. It’s not overnight magic—but it’s real rewiring.

If energy healing is your jam, even a 5-minute visualization or tapping session a few times a week can move mountains. Here’s what I know for sure: manifesting isn’t about forcing “good vibes only”—it’s about giving yourself permission to want what you want, then updating your mental operating system so those desires have a fighting chance to grow.

Which limiting beliefs will you rewrite today?

Even More Reading Related to This Topic

• Emotional Numbness: Why Your Life Feels Empty (And How to Finally Feel Again)
• 7 Real-World Steps for Overcoming Burnout and Depression (From Someone Who’s Been There)
• 365 Journal Prompts for Mental Health: Deep Questions for Real Healing

Frequently Asked Questions About Limiting Beliefs

Conclusion

All those years I spent waiting for “someday” never turned into anything but overwhelm and regret. I kept telling myself I’d finally feel ready, or motivated, or clear—and meanwhile, life kept sliding by, one overly tidy to-do list at a time. So here’s the hard-won truth, friend: the perfect future is a mirage. Waiting for it just keeps you at the starting line, out of breath and wondering why fulfillment never quite lands.

Limiting beliefs love to dress up as caution, but all they actually do is fence you in. If you’ve been circling the drain of “not yet” or “maybe when I’m more together,” I get it—and I’ll tell you what actually cracked it open for me: choosing to do one thing, however small and awkward, today instead of feeding the “someday” lie.

That whisper you hear nudging you forward? That’s wisdom, not selfishness. The only time you get to create flow, fulfillment, and transformation is now, in the real mess of daily life—not after you feel worthy or the stars align.

If you want things to shift, don’t wait for courage. Take imperfect action before your brain talks you out of it. Notice which limiting beliefs are running the show, call their bluff, and then show up anyway. That’s how authentic, joyful living actually starts. Your joy and your dreams deserve a spot on today’s agenda.

NOW OVER TO YOU: Thanks for sticking with me—it means more than you know. What’s the “someday” story you’re ready to put down for good? Tell me below or try one new thing, right now, just for you.

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