The missing piece to the manifesting puzzle is to improve your self-worth.
Ten years ago, it would have never occurred to me that self-worth was connected to what I manifested. I followed the advice from the gurus – to think positively, write meaningful affirmations and recite them regularly, create vision boards and “act as if”, etc. I thought knowing what I wanted and how I wanted to feel was all I needed.
But nothing was working very well.
All those things have their place in the successful manifesting equation, but there’s something below the surface, that if you don’t take care of first, will make manifesting what you want very difficult.
The underlying issue that will continue to be a thorn in your side, holding you back in ways you probably don’t even realize, and also an issue seldom mentioned is SELF-WORTH.
If you aren’t sure if you’re struggling with self-worth, go HERE for a great resource from Dr. Berni Sewell, Ph.D. from the Self-Worth Experiment.
If you don’t address the problem of low self-worth that so many people struggle with (and don’t even know it) manifesting what you want consistently (or at all) will continue to be very challenging.You can attempt all the Law of Attraction techniques you want but few things will change in your life if your self-worth is low. The moment I connected self-worth to the ability to consciously create what I want everything changed. It can be a pivotal moment for you too.Click To Tweet
So here’s what you need to know to get started:
1) The Law of Attraction Really Doesn’t Care
The Law of Attraction is always working. I find it humorous when I hear people say they’re going to “use the Law of Attraction” to get what they want. That’s not how it works. We don’t just decide to activate it one day and use it to our advantage. It has and always will be in motion matching the vibrational frequencies you put out there regardless of the outcome being good or bad. Understanding this principle is the first step.
It simply matches the vibrational frequency you put out there. The Law of Attraction isn’t good or bad, it just is. It has no intentions and it doesn’t pick and choose who to be nice to.
It’s always working for or against you so the trick is to learn how to leverage it to get what you actually want.
This is where most Law of Attraction experts will tell you to set a strong intention, create a dream board, envision it coming to life before your very eyes, think positively, and recite affirmations.
But they’re not telling you about what you need to do before all that, the missing first step, to improve your self-worth.
That said, this is why it’s so important to work on and improve your self-worth. If you’re feeling low and have bad thoughts about yourself that will always be there below the surface. This is why affirmations and visualization don’t work for a lot of people. You can start with bad and just expect good to happen by practicing these techniques when deep down you don’t believe them and don’t think you’re worthy of having them either.
2) Low Self-Worth = Self-Doubt
This one is pretty simple. If you have low self-worth you don’t believe in yourself, your ability to get what you want, or your worthiness to have the things. I don’t think this is something most people consciously think of, but these feelings are there interfering in the background keeping you from what you want. In order for the Law of Attraction to work for you, you have to believe what you want is possible, you have the ability to make it happen and you deserve it. You can’t set strong, powerful intentions that you only “kind of” believe in or really don’t believe you’ll ever have them at all even if they’d be nice.
3) Stop Concerning Yourself With What Others Think
People with low self-worth worry more about what others will think. They censor what they say, how they act, and what they do. They play small and try to blend in rather than shine.
Years ago when I told family and friends I didn’t want to work a job anymore and I wanted to find a way to have my own business I didn’t get the response I hoped for. People thought it was weird, not realistic, or even possible for me. They told me to find a different job if I didn’t like the one I had. That wouldn’t have changed anything… I don’t like jobs, office politics, and being told what to do so a new job wouldn’t have fixed that.
At first, the reactions I got really bothered me. I didn’t want people to think I was a weirdo. But in reality, [many] people just don’t like change or anything different than what they’re used to. So if you try to change they’ll try to pull you back into what they consider normal.
Imagine crabs in a bucket… If one tries to climb out the other ones will pull it back down. This is true anytime you worry about what others think and allowing them to pull you back down into the bucket.
Crab Mentality – If I Can’t Have it, Neither Can You.
Don’t let what people think hold you back. Be true to yourself. It really doesn’t matter what other people think. It’s your life.
I know it’s easier said than done to change this. It takes some discomfort with this at first. You’ll get resistance from other people, but push through and you’ll have a newfound confidence and more self-worth on the other side.
When it comes to what you want to do with your life that’s your business. I’m specifically talking about you being true to YOU and not letting the opinions of other people get in the way of that. A lot of people have a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset.
4) Stop Being So Comfortable.
When you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. Change is hard. It can be scary and uncomfortable, but without it, your life will never improve. Stop putting off those things you know will bring you closer to where you want to be because they’re uncomfortable. So be courageous. Send the email. Make the call. Show up. Be seen. And after you do the thing? You’ll feel great and your confidence and of course your self-worth will grow.
All the moments of your life are either shaped by a bad decision or a courageous decision. A decision you made that you were unsure of the outcome but you did it anyway. And it’s a rare occasion that when you make a courageous decision your life will take a turn for the worst.
Confidence comes from taking action even when you are scared out of your mind.
5) Write Down Your Goals… Then Follow Through
There’s something extremely gratifying about being able to cross things off your to-do list. At the beginning of each week write down 3-5 things you’d like to accomplish. Put the list somewhere you’ll see it and be reminded to follow through. Then cross them off one-by-one.
TIP 1: Make the goals challenging, but realistic.
Not Realistic – Declutter house by Sunday
Realistic – Declutter office by Sunday by working on it 15 minutes each day
TIP 2: Get specific. State HOW you’re going to get the things done.
Not Specific – Start exercising more
Specific – Take a 30-minute walk 6 days per week
Celebrate each thing you cross off. It doesn’t have to be big and it can be something as a “woohoo, I’m awesome.” or tell someone else how great it feels to have crossed that off your list. Acknowledge yourself for following through and doing what you said you’d do.
At the beginning of the week think of a reward you’ll give yourself for finishing your list. It can be as big or small as you’d like it to be. This will keep you motivated and you’ll be more likely to do follow through the next week.
Taking steps to improve your self-worth is so important and easily missed or overlooked. The reason you’re not following through in life isn’t that you simply don’t feel like it, it seems too hard, or whatever you think your reason is.
Below that it’s likely that you don’t feel worthy of improving things, you’re not good enough/smart enough/etc.
Even if you don’t believe that to be true (yet), I believe and want that for you. <3
P.S. You are worthy and deserving of all you desire and dream of. I hope this post inspired you to work to improve your self-worth. I’m confident that when you do, you’ll quickly start to see things in all areas of your life improve.