How to Change Your Mindset & Shift Your Reality

Last Updated on March 12, 2025 by Jess Brown

Have you ever noticed how two people can experience the exact same situation but walk away with completely different stories? That’s because how to change your mindset isn’t just about positive thinking—it’s about fundamentally shifting how you see yourself and the world around you.

I spent years trapped in thinking patterns that kept me stuck, sick, and struggling. The doctors told me I’d need medication forever. Friends suggested I should just “accept my lot in life.” But something deep inside me knew there had to be another way.

If you’re searching for real ways to transform your thinking, you’re in the right place. I’m not here to give you fluffy mantras or impossible standards. I want to share what actually works—because I’ve lived it.

Understanding How to Change Your Mindset (For Real)

Most mindset advice falls incredibly short. It skims the surface with “just think positive” messages that collapse the moment life gets hard. Real mindset change goes much deeper.

There are two fundamental shifts that create lasting transformation:

First, moving from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. A fixed mindset sees life as “the way it is”—unchangeable and set in stone. A growth mindset recognizes that life isn’t actually “the way it is”—it’s “the way you see it.” This opens up possibilities where before there were only limitations.

Second, shifting from victim mentality to creator consciousness. When you’re stuck in victim thinking, everything is happening to you. When you step into creator consciousness, you recognize your power to shape your experience, even in challenging circumstances.

But here’s what most articles don’t tell you: these shifts aren’t one-and-done. They’re practices you’ll return to again and again as you grow.

Before we dive deeper, let’s figure out where you’re starting from.

Mindset Diagnostic Tool: Where Are You Now?

Take a minute or two to answer these questions honestly. There’s no judgment here—just awareness.

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset:

• When you face a challenge, do you think “I can’t do this” or “I can’t do this”?
• Do you avoid situations where you might fail or look foolish?
• When you receive criticism, does it feel like an attack on who you are?
• Do you believe your intelligence and abilities are pretty much set?
• When others succeed, do you feel threatened or inspired?

Victim vs. Creator Thinking:

• Do you often feel that circumstances beyond your control determine your life?
• When something goes wrong, is your first instinct to look for who’s to blame?
• Do you frequently use phrases like “I have to” or “I can’t” rather than “I choose to” or “I choose not to”?
• Do you find yourself waiting for someone or something to rescue you?
• When faced with obstacles, do you focus more on the problem or potential solutions?

The more “yes” answers you have in the first parts of each section, the more opportunity you have for transformative growth. Now let’s look at how to make these shifts happen.

The Fixed to Growth Mindset Shift

For years, I believed what the doctors told me about my mental health. “You’ll need these medications for life,” they said. “This is just how your brain is wired.”

I didn’t question it. After all, they wore the white coats. They had the degrees. Who was I to challenge their expertise?

But as the side effects mounted—weight gain, diabetes, sleep disturbances, side effects so severe I became part of a class action lawsuit — something inside me started to wake up. What if they were wrong? What if there was another way?

It wasn’t easy to break free from that fixed thinking. Every time I mentioned exploring alternatives, I was met with resistance—not just from doctors, but from my own fear. What if they were right? What if this really was the best I could hope for?

The transformation began when I started asking different questions:

• What if my brain isn’t “broken” but responding to things like trauma, stress, and nutrition?
• What if healing is possible in ways I haven’t yet explored?
• What would be possible if I trusted my own experience over someone else’s limiting beliefs about me?

These questions opened doorways where before there were only walls. I started researching alternatives. I found EMDR therapy. I changed my diet. I began slowly, carefully weaning off medications (not something I recommend doing without proper support, by the way).

Three years later, I’m medication-free and feel better than I have in decades. Not because I “got lucky,” but because I shifted from accepting limitations to exploring possibilities.

Journal Prompt: What “truth” about yourself have you accepted without question? What if the opposite were possible? What would open up for you?

The Victim to Creator Consciousness Shift

One of the most powerful stories we tell ourselves is whether we’re at the mercy of life or creating it. This shows up in subtle ways we might not even notice.

I struggled with binge eating for years. Certain foods in the house meant an inevitable loss of control. I’d try to be “good,” then fail, then beat myself up for failing — a perfect victim cycle.

A friend recently shared a similar struggle. She’d ordered an indulgent cake for her fiancé’s birthday but worried about bingeing on it. The victim mindset would say, “That’s just how birthdays work. You need cake. Try harder to control yourself.”

I asked her, “What if you called the baker and canceled the cake?”

She seemed a bit shocked. Cancel a birthday cake? That’s not how birthdays work!

But that’s exactly the point. Who says birthdays require cake? Who made that rule? And is following that rule more important than her wellbeing and goals?

This is creator consciousness in action—recognizing that many of our “musts” and “shoulds” are just social programming we can choose to reject. My friend ultimately decided to plan a different, special birthday celebration without the trigger food. She created a new possibility instead of remaining victim to an arbitrary rule.

Journal Prompt: What “rules” are you following that don’t actually serve you? What would happen if you broke them?

Why Your Mindset Gets Stuck (And What to Do About It)

Even when we intellectually understand these shifts, our brains tend to revert to old patterns under stress. This isn’t because we’re failing—it’s because our brains are wired for survival, not growth.

When you feel threatened (physically or emotionally), your brain activates ancient survival circuitry. Higher-level thinking—including your new mindset—goes offline as your system prioritizes safety over growth.

I notice this in myself when I get into a funk. My thinking narrows, options seem limited, and I start seeing problems instead of possibilities.

What helps me break this pattern might surprise you: movement.

There’s something about walking outside that shifts my energy and my thinking. It’s like my body needs to physically experience forward motion before my mind can do the same.

I used to think this was just me, but research now shows that movement literally changes your brain chemistry, reducing stress hormones and increasing feel-good neurotransmitters that support creative, expansive thinking.

When I skip my daily walks (like during Minnesota’s sub-zero winter days), my mindset suffers. I get stuck in circular thinking. Problems look bigger. Solutions seem scarcer.

The connection between physical stagnation and mental stagnation is real. If we want good things to flow into our lives, we need to keep our own energy flowing.

Practice: Next time you notice yourself getting stuck in negative thinking, change your physical state before trying to change your thoughts. Take a walk, stretch, dance to a song you love—anything that gets energy moving through your body.

The Unexpected Source of Mindset Blocks

As a certified Belief Code practitioner, I’ve noticed something interesting: my clients’ most stubborn mindset blocks aren’t usually their own ideas. They’re handed down—from family, culture, society, sometimes going back generations.

These aren’t just opinions — they’re operating systems running in the background of our minds. They’re the voices that whisper “that’s not how things are done” or “people like us don’t do that.”

I saw this in my own resistance to changing my diet. For over six months, my personal trainer suggested I try a pro-metabolic approach. I was firmly attached to my low-sugar, mostly plant-based, paleo eating style. After all, wasn’t that what all the wellness experts recommended?

When I finally gave the new approach a try—mostly out of frustration that my old methods weren’t working — I found food freedom I’d never experienced before. Now at 46, I’m building muscle, lifting heavy, and finally losing the stubborn fat that remained after my initial 70-pound weight loss.

But why did I resist for so long? It wasn’t just about food preferences. It was about identity and belonging. My eating style had become part of how I defined myself, how I fit into a certain community. Changing meant stepping outside those boundaries, questioning collective wisdom, risking being wrong.

This is why mindset shifts can feel so threatening—they often require us to challenge not just our own thinking, but the thinking of people we love, respect, or want to belong with.

Journal Prompt: What belief do you hold simply because “that’s what people do” or “that’s what I was taught”? How might challenging this belief create new freedom in your life?

Practical Steps to Change Your Mindset Today

Knowledge without action creates more frustration, not less. So let’s get practical about making these mindset shifts real in your daily life.

1. Start with a pattern interrupt. When you catch yourself in fixed or victim thinking, physically change your state. Stand up, stretch, take three deep breaths—anything that breaks the pattern.
2. Question your assumptions. Ask, “Is this actually true, or does it just feel true right now?” When I first considered getting off psychiatric medications, the belief “I’ll be unstable without them” felt absolutely true—but it wasn’t.
3. Look for evidence that challenges your current belief. Our brains love to collect evidence that supports what we already believe. Actively seek contradictory examples. If you think “I always fail at relationships,” recall moments of connection, however small.
4. Rewrite your stories. When something difficult happens, we automatically create a story about what it means. These stories aren’t facts—they’re interpretations. Try creating three different interpretations of the same event, ranging from negative to positive.
5. Practice physical movement daily. Your body and mind are connected. A stuck body creates a stuck mind. Even five minutes of movement shifts your energy and opens new neural pathways.
6. Create a new language pattern. Notice phrases like “I have to,” “I can’t,” “I should,” and “I need to.” Replace them with “I choose to,” “I choose not to,” “I want to,” or “I don’t want to.” This small shift acknowledges your power to choose.
7. Surround yourself with growth-minded people. We absorb the mindsets of those around us. Find people who see possibilities where others see problems, who take ownership rather than blame.
8. Practice gratitude for progress, not perfection. Each night, acknowledge small shifts and celebrations, not just major victories. This trains your brain to notice growth rather than gaps.

These practices aren’t just nice ideas—more like practical tools that rewire your neural pathways over time. The key is consistency. Like building any muscle, mindset work requires regular exercise, not just occasional effort.

Maintaining Your Mindset Shift During Challenges

Let’s be honest—mindset shifts are easy when life is going well. The real test comes during stress, setbacks, or triggers.

I won’t pretend this is simple. When life hits hard, our brains naturally revert to familiar patterns. But I’ve found ways to weather these storms without completely losing my new perspective.

Journaling saves me during difficult times. There’s something about getting thoughts out of my head and onto paper that creates perspective. When thoughts spin in our minds, they seem all-consuming. On paper, they become observable rather than overwhelming.

I start with brain dumping everything I’m feeling — no filtering, no judgment. Then I look for patterns, particularly victim thinking or fixed mindset statements. I don’t shame myself for these—I simply notice them.

Then I ask better questions:

• What am I learning from this challenge?
• Where do I still have choices, however small?
• What would my future self want me to know right now?
• What’s still going right, even amid what’s going wrong?

This process doesn’t magically fix problems, but it does shift my relationship to them. The situation might remain unchanged, but I move from feeling helpless to finding my footing again.

Gratitude practices also help me maintain perspective. Not fake gratitude that denies reality, but genuine appreciation for what remains intact even when other things fall apart.

Finally, I’ve learned the power of asking for support. When we’re stuck in limiting mindsets, we often isolate — either because we’re ashamed or because we don’t want to burden others. But connection is precisely what helps us regain perspective.

Remember, backsliding isn’t failure — it’s feedback. Each time you notice yourself returning to old patterns, you’re building awareness. And awareness is the first step in any lasting change.

Even More Reading On This Topic:

• How to Be More Positive: 27 Journal Prompts to Shift Your Mindset
• Signs You Need Emotional Healing (And What to Do)
• 65 Deep Journal Prompts to Get Unstuck & Gain Clarity

Frequently Asked Questions About Mindset Shifting

Your Next Steps in Changing Your Mindset

How to change your mindset isn’t about reaching some perfect state of thinking. It’s about creating a new relationship with your thoughts—one where you’re the observer and chooser rather than the passive recipient.

The journey isn’t always comfortable. Growth rarely is. But on the other side of that discomfort is a freedom most people never experience—the freedom to create your life rather than just react to it.

NOW OVER TO YOU: What’s the one limiting belief you’re ready to challenge today? Share in the comments how you plan to shift this thought and what possibilities might open up when you do.

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